Third Sunday of Lent - March 7, 2010
Many of you are probably aware of the 1997 film “As Good As It Gets,” starring Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt. For those of you who haven’t seen it, it’s about an obsessive —compulsive man whose life gets entangled with a waitress who works at the restaurant he goes to each and every day. On top of his psychological problems, he also is tremendously rude, the kind of person who speaks his mind in every situation regardless of whether or not he hurts others’ feelings. This man just doesn’t have a filter.
There is one scene late in the movie that is famous for a particular line, one which is said by Jack Nicholson’s character to Helen Hunt’s character across the table as they have dinner in a restaurant. The man is being his usual difficult self when the woman grabs hold of the situation by asking him to pay her a compliment. The man tries, but fails miserably. The woman points out to him that what he said wasn’t a compliment, so he tries again. This time he gets it right. He looks her directly in the eye and tells her, “You make me want to be a better man.”
You make me want to be a better man. In some ways, we might say that being a better person is one of the central themes of Lent. Much of our time during this holy season is spent examining our lives, searching for ways to be more faithful, and asking God to have mercy on us for our sins. We are invited to take a closer look inside of ourselves, to try to uncover the beautiful person God created us to be. And while it’s not always easy to take a hard look at ourselves, to bring some of the ugly stuff into the light, it can bear some really good spiritual fruit, if done so sincerely. Yes, most of us want to be a better person.
Why? You heard right. Why? Why should we want to be better people? Maybe the answer to the question is obvious to you. It isn’t to me though. As a matter of fact, I don’t really think about it as often as I should. Possibly you’ve not given it much thought either. And some of us have probably never even once considered the question. Why should we want to be better people?
If we really ponder that question, I think we’d see that the answer’s not as easy as it seems. For me, as I try to answer it, I realize just how complicated my motives are. I do things for all different reasons —- some honorable and others not so, some selfless and some selfish, some reflecting the best in me and others reflecting a darker side. I have to admit, my motives just aren’t that pure —- even in matters of faith.
Why do we want to be better? The first answer to come to mind is “to please God”. That seems to make a lot of sense. But many of us, when we say that, what we really mean is, “so that God won’t punish me”. And we don’t just mean in the next life. We’re afraid of getting punished in this life too. People in Jesus’ time felt that way. If something bad happened to you, it was because you did something wrong which made God angry. Jesus seems to be saying otherwise in today’s Gospel passage, as he uses an accident involving the tower at Siloam to refute this type of thinking. And yet many of us are still convinced that God works that way. Amending our lives provides us a certain amount of protection against God’s punishment. Some of us also believe the opposite; that if we behave better God will owe us. And so amending our lives becomes a way of acquiring more of God’s blessings. Being a better person is just playing it smart, covering all of our bases.
Our motives in matters of faith say a lot about where we are on our spiritual journey. And doing the right thing, regardless of the motive involved, does help bring the world a little closer to the way God intended it to be. In that regard, we can say that doing the right thing is always good, amending our lives (even in small ways) is always a worthwhile endeavor, and striving to be better is never a waste of time or a foolish pursuit —- regardless of why we do it. But the purity of our motives (or lack thereof) does impact the degree to which our actions produce good fruit. And these effects take two forms —- one external and one internal.
Externally, our less than pure motives can affect our ability to love. We may be able to do something good, but that act will never bring about the desired effect with the completeness and depth that we want. If our heart’s not really in it, we won’t be able to love as fully as God wants us to, nor will we be able to “give it our all”. Instead, the “smallness” of the motives behind our efforts will result in a certain “smallness” in whatever outcome we’re trying to achieve. The purer the motive, the more God’s goodness is able to shine through us.
The second effect of less than pure motives is an internal one. You see, every act we commit not only changes the world around us, it changes us too. When we love more fully, we experience love in a richer and deeper way. When we show mercy with a truly empathetic heart, we experience God’s mercy in our own lives in a more real and meaningful way. And when we are generous for the best of reasons, we more easily recognize God’s blessings in our own lives.
And so, while trying to be a better person is about changing our behavior, it’s also as much about changing the “why” behind what we do. Purifying our motives is as important as purifying our actions. The two are intimately connected. So what is the purest motive? Why should we want to be better people? What motive will bring about the best in both the world and in ourselves?
It’s simple. You’ve heard me say it many times before. And its importance cannot be overestimated. Why try to be better? Why try to be better at loving? Because God has loved us first. Our desire to be better is a response to a God who loves us and showers us with his kindness, mercy, and generosity every single day. We don’t love so that God loves us. We love because God has loved us, and the only acceptable way of responding in the face of such goodness is to share that love with others.
God wants me to be a better man. And he wants you to be better men and women. Not for himself. But so that our love may encourage others to be better people too.